Steinfeld did not intend to share her own experience in the film. The project began as a way for her to connect with survivors to enable them not to suffer in silence and alone, as she did.
Upon arriving in the United States, Steinfeld says she is deeply traumatized and unable to speak about her experience, and is instead trying to start a new life. But it wasn’t as simple as getting away from the crime scene.
This is what launched the Steinfeld project. But when she interviewed the people featured in the film — including a wife who was raped by her husband, a nurse who had to use a rape kit on herself, and a man who said he was raped at a party when he was 13 — some of the perpetrators confronted him about whether they were feeling Now regretting or even admitting that what they had done was a crime, she realized that in order to fully recover, she also had to speak out in order to move on.
After her experience, Steinfeld shared four lessons she learned about what to do in the aftermath of an assault—whether it happened to you or someone you know.
It’s not your fault
“No matter how it happens, no matter your gender, gender, age, or creed, no matter your state of consciousness, no matter your actions or inactions, it is not your fault,” she says.
“Now you are obsessed with the question: What could have been done differently? The truth is not much. The perpetrators prey on you by gaining your trust and forcing you into a space where they can commit the crime. You cannot know their intentions. The faster you learn to understand it is not your fault, The sooner you heal the better.”
Find someone you trust
“Find someone you trust – someone you know who won’t judge you or force you to do anything you don’t want to do – before you seek medical attention and report the crime to authorities,” Steinfeld says.
She adds that experiences with the law and medical personnel can also be distressing, so it pays to have reliable support when reporting a crime.
“Make sure you trust someone who will be by your side no matter what. It may mean telling your family what happened and seeking their love and support. Now don’t worry about breaking their hearts by revealing the crime you managed to survive. They may feel helpless, but you You need them now more than I can describe in words. If you don’t have such a person, find us, we advocates for victims, we will be there for you. I know it’s a mantra, but it’s so true – find us online! You’re not alone.”
Be patient with yourself
“You may feel self-destructive: you may hate yourself for a long time, you may want to harm yourself, or use alcohol or drugs to make you feel more miserable. Be patient with the state of shock and your recovery,” she says.
“The journey from victim to victor can be very long. Victory is when you are whole again, when you can trust your judgment again, victory is when what happened has no power over you anymore. The fast track to that freedom is patience and kindness to yourself.”
She explains that by doing this, she will eventually be able to talk about what happened and says she has learned that “speaking was healing for all the heroes who came forward after surviving sexual trauma.”
Ask your loved ones to be supportive
Steinfeld says that when abuse survivors talk about what happened to them, it can be difficult for loved ones to know how to respond. But their response “can be critical” in helping people feel empowered to seek support.
“We live in a culture that does not understand sexual violence survivors. There is no right or wrong way to respond to trauma,” she says, concluding that getting validation and support can go a long way in helping someone feel safe and ask for support.
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Several years ago, a group of women became pioneers in the commercial fishing industry, believing that their lives were set on a more prosperous path. But climate change along the Zambezi River threatens to put an end to their dreams.
Women behaving badly: Junko Tabe (1939-2016)
By Addie Vanessa Oviong
Although she was the first woman to reach the summit of Mount Everest, Junko Tabe preferred to be known as the 36th person to achieve the feat.
She discovered her passion for climbing at the age of ten during a class trip to Mount Nassau and Mount Chaosu. At that time, in Japan, only men were climbing mountains. After graduating from Showa Women’s University, Tabi pursued her passion for climbing and joined several men’s climbing clubs.
To encourage more women to pursue a passion for climbing, she co-founded Joshi Tohan (Ladies Climbing Club of Japan) in 1969, and the following year, Tabi and club member Hiroko Hirakawa made history with an expedition to Annapurna 3 in Nepal, one of the toughest climbs in world, where she became the first woman to climb the summit.
Then my followers set their sights on Everest. In 1975, she began ascent with 14 other women under the auspices of the Japanese Everest Women’s Expedition. Due to the lack of oxygen bottles, Tapie was the only member of the climbing team who could climb the last summit, making her the first woman to reach the summit of the world’s highest peak.
She went on to climb the highest mountains on every continent, known as the Seven Summits Challenge, and was again the first woman to do so.
Born in Fukushima as Junko Ishibashi, Tabe was a teacher, author, and World War II survivor. She married Masanobu Tabe, a fellow mountaineer, in 1959.
Her life was filled with courage and determination not only to make a name in a male-dominated field but also to challenge cultural stereotypes about women. She died of cancer in 2016.
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